Funny moments during basic training...

It was a sunny, Sunday afternoon. Recruits were sitting around talking when one of the short, stubby Drill Instructors came walking by. I don't remember what started the confrontation, but I do remember the sergeant standing in front of one of the recruits, looking up at him, and dressing him down for something the recruit had done. Exasperated at the recruit, the sergeant said -

"Tell me something soldier, just what do you want out of this man's army?"

The recruit, a draftee, looked down at the sergeant and replied, "Me!"

Picture in your mind a bright, sunny day. There are two columns of marching men, each column strung out on opposite sides of a dirt road, with a drop off on either side of the road. Along each column there were separations between platoons of about 100 yards. Four contact men were evenly spaced between each platoon in order to maintain eye contact.

I was one of the leaders of a platoon who was watching the contact men ahead of us, when suddenly, one of them begins to weave back and forth across the road until he goes over the edge and into the ditch.

When I caught up to him, I asked, "What happened to you?"

His reply? "I fell asleep..."

This was the same man who, when the CQ came by to wake him one early one Sunday morning for KP (kitchen police) after a Saturday night on the town, wrapped his arms around the CQ and pulled him into bed telling him how beautiful he was.

The CQ managed to pull away and wake several men around him. He told them to get the guy up and over to the mess hall. So, they managed to get him dressed, and then they stood him up and let go of him. The loud thud when he hit the floor woke up the rest of the barracks.

The CQ pointed to one of the men who dressed him and appointed him the man's replacement for the day on KP for the day...

Then there was the time when one of the recruits decided he wanted out of the army, and didn't care how. So, one day when he was selected to remain behind as a barracks guard, he waited until he saw the Company Commander walking over to inspect the barracks.

He had found a piece of wood big enough to use as a fishing pole, and placed some string on it. When the Company Commander came into the barracks, he found the guard sitting in the latrine (bathroom) on one of the stools (there were no walls in the barracks) pretending to be fishing in the stool next to him.

The Company Commander left the barracks only to return several minutes later with a rod, reel, and tackle box. The startled guard was at a loss for words when the officer sat down on a different stool and began to prepare his gear for fishing. As he did, he looked at the recruit and asked...

"How are they biting?"

Needless to say, the recruit did not get out of the service.